Archive | May, 2010

Kristen Stewart’s empty eyes, The Penguin does not approve, open letter

31 May

The Penguin has a lot of issues with celebrities.

This week, The Penguin has written an open letter to Kristen Stewart.

Dear Kristen Stewart,

Repeating yourself and stuttering is not “acting.”  The Penguin feels that you must take speech lessons to get rid of your stuttering. With practice and a good speech coach, you can get rid of it.

The Penguin thinks that you do not look dark and mysterious.  Why must you always roll your eyes?  It is not angst.  In The Penguin’s mind, your eyes appear empty.  The Penguin does not understand why you must pretend to be semi-moody.  The Penguin feels having thoughts running through your head while speaking will rid you of this problem.

The Penguin feels that Kristen Stewart always acts scared.  Why are you afraid Kristen Stewart?  Robert Pattinson’s new haircut is not that scary.  The Penguin thinks Kristen Stewart needs a therapist to uncover hidden fears.

The Penguin does not understand why Kristen Stewart is always sad and emo.  She never smiles.  Ever.  The Penguin thinks that Kristen Stewart needs to practice smiling in mirrors and go to a dentist if needed.

It’s a “penguin eat penguin world,” and in a world of penguin-acting, The Penguin does not approve.  Kristen Stewart, please do not ruin Twilight for The Penguin, and other penguins all over the world.

This is just The Penguin’s humble opinion.

~~~The Penguin~~


Hating Pandas is like Hating Puppies

31 May

Everyone loves pandas.  They are adorable.  Who could forget the “sneezing panda”?  If you do not like pandas, then you must hate puppies and lollipops and everything nice.  That is all.

There is an ABBA song for everything…

31 May

Feeling lonely/like a cat lady? “Gimme Gimme Gimme”

Feeling like a cougar?  “Does your mother know?”

Recession’s got you down? “Money Money Money”

Feeling played?  “Mamma Mia”

Feeling needy? “Lay all your love on me”

Bad break up? “Knowing me, knowing you,”  “When all is said and done”

Head over heels in love? “Gonna sing you my lovesong”

Feel like getting someone fired? “When I kissed the teacher”

Random hookup? “Voulez Vous”

Cheated on? “The Winner Takes It All”

Crush? “Name of the Game”

Thankful? “Thank You for the Music”

Kids growing up too fast? “Slipping through my fingers”

Missing someone? “Super Trooper”

Summer love? “Our last summer”

Best friend feeling hurt and you want to console her? “Chiquitita”

Having fun? “Dancing Queen”

New year? “Happy New Year”

Need to be kinder? “He is your brother”

13 things to do on Memorial Day.

31 May

Are you hard pressed for finding some fun Memorial Day activities?  Here is a list of stuff to do:

1. Have a BBQ/grill at home and invite neighbors and friends.

2. Rent a soldier-based movie, like “Dear John.”

3. Go down to the city for a day (especially if you live in a major metropolitan area like DC).  There are bound to be some fun activities.

4. Watch the new Sex and the City 2 movie.

5. Watch a movie in 3D involving big green ogres.

6. Volunteer at Veteran Affairs.

7. Thank a veteran.

8. Go shopping.  There are some great discounts today.

9. Watch a parade.

10. Go to a restaurant.

11. Go to a local park and have lunch with friends and family.  Parks have playgrounds, and are free, making them great for kids and your wallet.

12. Visit the beach.

13. Go fishing.

Alec Baldwin is hungry

31 May

I recently watched the movie, It’s Complicated, and would just like to say what is up with Alec Baldwin and eating?  He was like a vacuum cleaner cleaning food in the film.  He stuffed his face with ice cream, cake, and chocolate.  It was kind of disturbing to watch, actually.  He is not helping his big tummy by eating like that, even if it is for “acting.”  He has made me hungry and is ruining my diet.  Thanks a lot Alec Baldwin.

DC Metro Death and No one cares?

30 May

On May 16th, Rickey Jay Van Houter boarded the metro in DC at 9:45AM.  At 2:55 PM, he was found dead, slumped over in the seat, by a train operator hours after the metro had been out of service. The real question is why it took so long for anyone to discover he was dead.  How long can a dead man sit still on a seat?  And why didn’t anyone say anything?

Hopefully, there is a takeaway message for everyone; if something doesn’t look right with someone, please do something.  Had someone called for help right around when this man started having problems, maybe he could have been saved.

BPA plastic and plastic bottles rock my socks

30 May

Bisphenol A, or BPA, is a building block of plastics hazardous to humans.  BPA can mimic the body’s hormones and lead to negative health effects, especially when exposed during early development (infants).  There are some effects on fetal/infant brain development.  When items such as plastic BPA-containing bottles are exposed to heat, chemicals can leak into the bottle.

After getting tired of buying and using Deer Park water bottles, I have recently made the switch over to BPA free reusable water bottles.  These are an excellent alternative to spending a lot of needless $$$ on spring water.