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Mixed feelings on new GaGa :( y I might leave the Haus of Gaga

18 Jun

I’m not too cray cray about Lady Gaga’s new album–in fact, I’m so “meh” about the new album that I may remove it as my “religion” on facebook. Yes, I am being completely cereal!
But in all seriousness, what the hell happened to my dear Gaga? This album is weird, and not in the good way. I usually keep an open mind when it comes to music, and I listen to pretty much anything. I’ve listened to music as bizzare as Bjork and Radiohead and liked it. I’ve been a fan of obscure indie songs, mainstream pop songs, rap, hip hop, dance, trance, and so on. Unfortunately, this new Gaga album isn’t growing on me. 😦 I love Gaga, but I may have to find a new idol due to this monstrosity. I never really liked 80s Madonna, so why should 80s throwback Gaga be any different.

Here is a summary of her album: It sounds like Gaga took a time machine back to a 1970s gay discoteque in Germany, where all the men wear assless leather chaps. No, this is not a good thing to me.

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Is Lady Gaga a MAN? PROOF that she isn’t…

3 Jul

Rumors have been circulating for a while that Lady Gaga is really a hermaphrodite.  Gaga fans know this rumor is complete BULLOCKS, and I, as a Gaga fan, feel that it is within my duty to disprove this rumor.

Here are some reasons/proofs that Lady Gaga is NOT a man…

1. She is an attention whore.

She THRIVES on publicity, whether it is good or bad.  If Lady Gaga was really a man, she would have shown her d!*k off by now.  She would EMBRACE her manhood; that is just the type of person she is.

2. The “proof” that she is a man could easily be something else…

The picture that has been circulating, showing her “manhood” looks more like a pad.  Lady Gaga is a woman.  She gets periods.  Some women use pads, while others use tampons.  She was probably using a pad that day.  Every girl KNOWS that wearing tight fitting clothing is never a good idea when wearing pads because they show awkward bumps like in the picture below. If that was really a d!ck, the size would be comparable to that of Napoleon’s.
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3. She looks flat… down there…

If you look at Gaga’s music videos and pictures, she is frequently only in underwear or underwear-like clothing (Madonna must be so proud).  It’s not like she can have a penis one day and take a break the next day.
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4. Jealous people are haters.

It’s interesting how she was considered “hot” when she released the “Just Dance” video, but now that she has explored her deeper, more artistic side, she is a “tranny.”  This can only be the work of jealous haters.

5. She loves the gays.

Gaga embraces the gays.  She gives them her full support.  She would have admitted to being a transsexual if it was really true.

6. Tight clothing and weird clothing material brings on erections.

The type of clothes that Gaga typically wears are made of interesting materials. When guys wear clothes like these, they get erections. With all the video and camera footage of Gaga up everywhere, there is NO EVIDENCE of her having an erection.

ALBINOS ARE IN, I just can’t be with you like this anymore ALEJANDRO

9 Jun

Gaga’s latest video features her with platinum blond hair (of course), almost no eyebrows, deathly pale skin, and light blue contacts. This can only mean one thing. ALBINOS ARE IN.

The video features campy almost nude men stomping (I guess they are soldiers). Then, there is a funeral. Gaga is smoking a pipe (lung cancer is NOT COOL) and has on weird glasses that have covered her eyes.
Then everyone starts dancing. Eventually the almost nude dudes start wrestling and choking each other (umm mk). Then Gaga shows up almost nude, and rope is involved (is this still a music video or Gaga porn?).
Towards the end, Gaga is wearing leather.

This video’s dreary scenery reminds me of the former Soviet Union and ICE. Gaga’s “look” makes me think she is cold, she is so cold she is like ICE. I appreciated her sparkly eyeshadow. I was disappointed with the outfits. They were not outrageous enough. I still want to know how “Telephone’s” story ends…

“you will never fall apart, Diana you’re still in our hearts”; a relationship of cheating and betrayal

4 Jun

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Diana, Princess of Wales, lived from July 1st, 1961 – August 31st, 1997, and was the first wife of Charles, Prince of Wales. They had two sons; Princes William and Harry.
For those who are too young to remember, Diana died in a car crash.

Diana’s popularity started with Prince Charles. Charles had previously been involved with Camilla Shand, but they broke up before he went into military service. When he got back, Camilla had gotten married to someone else. Once Charles reached his early thirties, he was placed under pressure to get married.

Prince Charles’ relationship with Diana started during 1980, during a polo match, and further developed when they went sailing on a royal yacht. They were engaged on February 24th 1981, and married on July 29th, 1981. I must add that there was a big age difference between the two (always a recipe for disaster). Diana was only 20, while Charles was in his 30s (GROSS, ROBBING THE CRADLE).

Diana is mostly well-known for her charitable work. She was the Angelina Jolie of her time. She developed an interest in health issues such as AIDS and leprosy. She also worked with the homeless and drug addicts.
She was especially interested in the International Campaign to Ban Landmines.

During the 1990s, there were problems between Charles and Diana. Both of them were allegedly cheating on each other. When difficulties first appeared, Charles went back to his ex-girlfriend Camilla Shand and had an affair.
In 1992, they both decided to separate, and ultimately ended up getting divorced. Diana blamed Camilla for marital problems, but thought that Charles had other affairs as well.

On August 31st, 1997, Diana and her boyfriend Dodi Al Fayed died in a car crash in the Pont de l’Alma road tunnel. The driver was drunk. Dodi’s father claimed that they were executed by MI6 agents.

Lesson: Don’t get in the car with drunk people, AND don’t get involved with people who are OBVIOUSLY still hung up on someone else (Charles + Camilla).