Tag Archives: random

Ad Fail – Would you like some BUTT PASTE with that?

19 Oct

FAIL! Quote in 1st paragraph: “One doctor recalls laughing, ‘ I used to send them over to George and say, he’s got a really good butt paste.'”
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Advertisements

Irritated by Serial Texters, HELLO I’M RIGHT NEXT TO YOU!

19 Oct

Something that has really annoyed me in the past year has been serial texters. I can’t stand it when people text while I am talking to them or standing right next to them. Many of them appear to have a compulsion with checking their phones. It drives me crazy. When I hang out with people, they should pay attention to ME! (and whoever else is with us) NOT other people in the digital realm. I know I’m not boring, and I’d much rather not resort to doing/saying something crazy to make them focus on me again (“WEEEEER GOIN STREAAAKINNG”).

PLEASE people, put down your phones when you are with others. It’s totally rude. And nature is nice.
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

How to Master the Art of Sleeping during the day (or night)

17 Oct

If you are a slacker, college student, or workaholic, then you have most likely felt the need to take a nap in the middle of the day. Some people have issues falling asleep in the middle of the day, so they are unable to catch up on their “sleep debt.”
There is a SOLUTION.
Buy a SLEEPING MASK! They will block out the light that lets your brain know it’s daytime. Additionally, after a few uses, you will learn to associate the sleeping mask with SLEEP. Thus, every time you wear it, you will fall asleep like a baby.

The same solution applies if you have issues falling asleep at night. Normally, at night, your brain produces high levels of melatonin to help you fall asleep. If you have problems sleeping at night, then buy MELATONIN; an over-the-counter supplement to help promote sleep. Be sure to follow the directions on the supplement’s bottle to avoid forming a dependency on the supplement.

If you are regularly tired, even though you are getting enough sleep, then add exercise into your daily routine.

Sweet dreams!

Burger King Creeper Guy

3 Sep

Would you let this man near your children?
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Info:
Name: the “Marvelous Magical Burger King”
Looks: red-bearded, victorean-era king
Occupation: Rules the Burger King Kingdom, performs “tricks” for kids in old 70s commercials

-Known to have 1-2 child companions.
-Gets a little too close with children in his “Magical Kingdom” (IS THAT A EUPHEMISM FOR PANTS?).
-Has a creepy mustache.

The King is a pervert (WHERE have we heard THAT before??).
“WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?”
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Justin is a saaaaaad Bieber :'(

30 Aug

When Justin sings, it´╗┐ looks like he is crying.

Why so sad, Bieber?

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Who’s da bitchiest DC Housewife? KAT

29 Aug

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Kat is by far the most annoying Housewife I have ever seen on any of the “Housewives” shows. She is rude and very in-your-face. She gets invited to events and proceeds to belittle the hosts.
She picks at every minor thing at hosts’ events. For example, the grapes at the Salahi vineyard appeared to be “store bought” and not off of a vine. WHO THE FiretrUCK cares???
The worst part about Kat is that she is a homewrecker. She had an affair with a married man, who left his wife to be with her. Not surprisingly, they have broken up since the airing of the show. I hope she does not reappear on Season 2.
I thought Brits were supposed to be POLITE!

Keanu Reeves + Kristen Stewart = Best Hollywood Combo Evr?

29 Aug

Some characteristics describing each star:
Keanu Reeves
-airhead
-no variation in voice
-attractive
-long eyelashes
-blank stare

Kristen Stewart
-stutter
-mumbles a lot
-blank stare
-not very “deep”

What would happen if Kristen Stewart and Keanu Reeves had bebes? They would have very beautiful, yet empty-minded children.
Image and video hosting by TinyPic